Authenticity vs Discipline

Last night a Christian man told me not to do my devotions. For those of you who are curious as to how someone "does their devotions" instead of just being devoted; "doing devotions" is a cute piece of evangelical jargon that describes the daily act reading a Bible passage and praying through a prayer list. This usually takes place first thing in the morning. The logic for this is impeccable. In order for one to have the right frame of mind before venturing into their day, they must be filled with "the word of God". The problems with this are unending. First of all, it's been shown that the mind's ability to comprehend and retain information is at its worst in the waking hours, and at it's best during the hours before sleep (provided you sleep at least 7 hours; some must sleep more). So perhaps the most utilitarian time for one to "do their devotions" would be just before they go to bed. This is of course ignoring the possible spiritual and mystical aspects of doing your devotions in the morning. But this line of reasoning at least warrants my sarcasm. Still the idea of being devoted to Bible reading, and prayer, although it may it seem awkward to some people, and despite the phrase "doing devotions" being illogical coinage, is a good idea. I think discipline, provided that the end in mind is not immoral, is not just good for the soul, but is a necessity. If "doing your devotions" is your way of expressing disciplined devotion to Bible reading and prayer, then I would say that for a prof to tell his students not to do their devotions without providing any qualification is bad advice. I understand the line of thinking that would lead someone to such a conclusion. It has to do with being in an authentic relationship. I wish to show that discipline and authenticity are not mutually exclusive concepts and I ultimately wish to show that discipline, when done with authenticity is an overabundantly rewarding enterprise.
Like I said, I think that I understand that Christian man's line of reasoning. And I think that when that line is followed that he is correct in his assessment. However, the statement made is so broad and greatly susceptible to misapplication, that its hardly worth making unless a qualification is given, which of course, none is. As a reminder, he said: "Don't do your devotions". I understand the admonition. "Doing your devotions"/ reading your Bible and praying through a prayer list is not a magical formula for righteous living. It does not in and of itself make one righteous, and can lead someone to mistakenly believe that at best God's disapointment is at the end of his lack of consistency, or worse his wrath. This can lead to a horridly distorted view of God and mankind's relationship to him. God is not disapointed with someone because they did not keep their regiment. He is disappointed when someone ignores his existence completely. And whose to say that you have to read your Bible in order to recognize God's presence or existence? Who's to say that you have to pray in order to recognize God's existence? Perhaps a simple thought about God or his creation will suffice for him? Maybe a simple thank you for a meal? Certainly one of the ways to take notice of God is to pray. Certainly another way is to read the Bible that he inspired. But the issue is not one of disobedience to God's arbitrary expectations. The issue is relationship because after all, God is a person. Again God is not disapointed because you failed to be disciplined, he's disapointed because you failed to recognize him.
But the relationship motif can only go so far, because although God is a person and as such desires relationship, he is not a person that we can sense with any of the five senses. Our relationships with one another serve as illustrations or pictures of what a relationship with God can be like, but they are not identical. Having relationship with God is weird. It takes enlightenment. It takes work, and more enlightenment. It takes discipline. Discipline can appear to be inauthentic. Going with the relationship motif, think of how a significant other would act if their significant other gave them a 15 minute time slot in the morning. They wouldn't feel very significant. Indeed, they would not be very significant. But this is not a case of too much discipline, this is a case of false love, which is the attitude a lot of Christians have towards God. But think of this as well. You don't schedule things that are not a priority, so the fact that you make time for someone says that they are important. Whether or not you mean it is your problem. But at any rate discipline is an unavoidable part of relationship. Whether or not it's authentic is completely up to the initiator.
I believe that God speaks to us through nature. I believe that he speaks even louder in the Bible. So if I want to hear from God, I should read the Bible. I believe that God mystically speaks to us through prayer. Sometimes, I don't want to read the Bible. Sometimes, I don't want to pray. This might mean that I don't love God. Well, how can I love a stranger. I shouldn't expect to want to pray. It's weird, it's nothing like talking to a physical person. I shouldn't expect to want to read the Bible. It has apparent contradictions. It is hard to understand. It is out of my cultural context, and seemingly irrelevant. But God speaks in it and through it. What do I do when I have something before me that's beneficial, but I don't feel like doing it. I discipline myself. I realize that people and God are not the same thing as exercise or going on a diet or doing yoga, and that they shouldn't be treated as objects, but that doesn't mean that relationships don't take discipline in their own right. Sometimes I don't feel like counseling somebody, but they need me and I love them so I do. Is this wrong? No, if anything it's noble because I was willing to sacrifice my wants for what's needful. We do all sorts of things we don't feel like doing and this fact of life is a blessing because discipline is good for the soul. An earned reward, whether it be tangible, like money or a trophy or addulation, or intangible, like a good relationship is worth the struggle, and part of the struggle is constantly pushing ourselves to things we don't want to do. I would say that life almost revolves around this truth. Relationships take work and discipline. I wouldn't read my Bible if I didn't set aside a time. I wouldn't pray if I didn't have a prayer list. This does not mean I am unauthentic in my pursuit of God, this just means that when I finally find him, it will be that much better because it wasn't just handed to me. I worked on it. I struggled through it. I persevered. And the fact that I wanted to work on it, is a testimony that I actually do love God(if my motive is truly to love God, and not fill my self up with a feeling of self-righteousness).
Having a relationship with God is not like having a relationship with a person. My assumption is that it's more rewarding, but I have no problem not being able to yet articulate how I know God, or how I know that I know God. I see myself as just getting to know him (whatever that means). I see clues in the Bible, and find revelation in prayer, and discover meaning, purpose and motivation through Jesus Christ. But I don't expect myself to naturally start thinking about God so much, that I love him so much, that I just start obeying him instinctively. I wouldn't think about God that much if it wasn't for prayer and the Bible. I wouldn't read the Bible or pray that much if I didn't make myself do it. I wouldn't be blessed by the art of discipline if I didn't have the oppurtunity. This is for real. I want to know God, but I don't always want to do the things necessary to know him, but if they're necessary, then I must do them, and if I don't feel like doing them, I need to do them anyway in light of the comforting words of the Apostle Paul: "Neither death nor life, nor principalities nor rulers, nor things in heaven, nor things on earth, nor anything will be able to separate us from our loving Christ (italics mine)which is in Christ Jesus our Lord"
Apparently this relationship is important enough for God to work on it too.