Milk, liquid, and the Mafia

So, I am learning Italian. The word latte' in Italian means milk in English. So when you order a latte in Italy, you're simply ordering a cold glass of milk. I don't know how you order a latte in Italy, or even if they have lattes'. Maybe an Italian latte is the same thing as an American one and in Italy you know what you're gettin based on context. Kind of like in the south where you order a soda by ordering a coke, and because of the context everyone knows what you mean. In the end I don't know. I could easily google it, but none of this is my point.
I am now officially annoyed with American products trying to pretend that they're not overtly American, like Taco Bell, which is just Grade D crap with grease all over it. On top of that I am sick of Starbucks pretentiousness. I know this is what sells it, but the problem is that the high brow simpletons who buy their product think that when they're in a Starbucks that they're having some sort of authentic European experience. Every other cafe', even award winning cafes, simply refer to their drinks as small, medium, and large on the basis that it's, well, logical. Not only is Starbucks the only place in the world that refers to its drinks as tall, grande', and venti but venti in Italian means twenty. Grande' is french for large. Tall is English for tall. What!? This is the epitome of pretentiousness, and the fact that some Americans think it's cool is embarassing. I have no interest in the art of ordering. If I every say the words: "I'd like a grande skinny double mocha, with whip, I want someone to send their cousin to kill me right there. If I must be sniped, so be it. At least I won't see it coming. And while we're being bitter. Why can't I order a "short" or "tall but not too tall" "big fat, drink with coffee and espresso with milk in it and less foam than a cappucino, which probably means "liquid" in Italian. Instead of a grande, can I order a petit? Or instead of a venti, can I get a diecici. (I think that's fifteen. I just started learning a week ago, and was tre disappointed to discover a latte was just a glass of milk.
In conclusion, can I just get a good cup of coffee. One that doesn't pretend it's somehow better because of how I order it, but one that's better because it actually tastes better).